Dear Freshman Self,

April 27, 2K15

I’d probably tell you something profound. Something along the lines of, “Sit in the sunshine more often. Don’t worry so much, let the good and the bad roll off your shoulders, rather than shake you to pieces.” In reality though, as I sit here and mentally prepare myself for dead week and everything I have yet to get done, more or less start, I’m not sure I completely believe this. My present self tends to feign wisdom. If I would’ve known then what I know now, if I would’ve known it all worked out, etc. etc. In truth, if I went back, I would’ve done it just the same. I’m a helpless believer that although I’ve progressed and learned and changed my ways to an extent, I am who I’ve always been, and surely, who I will always be.

So, freshman self, please try to sit in the sunshine more. Please try to stop controlling everything you can’t even touch. Let the good and bad roll off your shoulders. But if you cannot, when you cannot, know that this is your becoming. Know that it’s alright for you to handle your life and your worries and your present and your past with the care and gentleness that you do. Sit quietly every now and again and know that you are a soul in the depths of an ocean you have only scratched the surface of. Know that there is much, much more to see and do and know that this moment is just as important as the next.

Freshman self, you’re going to do great things in your life only because you believed then and continue to believe now, that you can.  Don’t be so hard on yourself, or with other people. Loosen your grip a little bit. But hold on like hell when you need to.

Dear freshman self, you’re doing alright. You’re going places. Keep looking up.

-b

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