ListenClose.

There’s a list written by a “90 year-old” woman. It’s 45 things to remember while living. Simple statements. Wise remarks. Matter of fact claims.

I started to think about what my list might look like. What lessons are worthy enough to document so concretely. I’m assuming, only the ones that have made you a better. More understanding. Ones that have pushed you towards weariness, uneasiness. Eventually, forcing you to find your balance on sturdier ground. With more confidence, and maybe even more grace.

Fortunately, I have plenty of time to figure it out. Maybe even enough time to  get it right.

For now, I’ll keep reading, learning as I go.

The following is her list…

Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.When in doubt, just take the next small step. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present. It’s OK to let your children see you cry. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it. Life is too short for long pity parties. You can get through anything if you stay put in today. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer. Burn the candles; use the nice sheets; wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special. Overprepare, then go with the flow. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple. The most important sex organ is the brain. No one is in charge of your happiness except you. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?” Forgive everyone everything. What other people think of you is none of your business. Time heals almost everything. Give time time. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch. Believe in miracles. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. The best is yet to come. No matter how you feel, get up. Show up. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. Yield.

I used to be scared of missing out. Whether that be in regards to friends, places, foods, or t.v. shows that played long after I fell asleep.

Tonight, as I walked outside my apartment, I caught the sky in my absolute favorite phase. It lasts only about twenty minutes, but it’s extraordinary. The colors in the sky are fading and the clouds are folded into one another. A deep blue and light grey present themselves. They seem powerful together. The sun has set, but the stars haven’t made their move quite yet. The minutes run into one another, and as they pass I sit and watch the last bit of light play off the water.

I’m learning a lot here. Sitting here, watching and listening. The statements written above, the remarks from the wiser, older woman, are delicate and treasured insights towards how to live your life in the truest, most intentional of ways.

But if you aren’t able to remember them, and if you aren’t given daily advice and reminders from brilliant life coaches such as herself, I’d personally advise you to sit and watch. Listen more. Try to catch the sun right before it sinks into the sky. Stand outside when you can only hear birds or crickets, the sound of fishing lines being thrown out and reeled back in.Catch the sky in the midst of my favorite 20 minute phase.

I’m no so afraid of missing out anymore. I’m more nervous to be caught looking down.

-b

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