Every day I wake up with the desire to feel different. Accomplished. More developed. Stronger.

But most days I don’t.

What happens when a significant amount of your life is spent in limbo? When you constantly wonder whether you’re regressing or standing completely still?

I feel like I’m the main character in a rat race.

Searching and scavenging and competing to be better at all these things that aren’t filling me up. Things that I can’t master anyways. Things that are emptying me more than they are satisfying me. I want to be better and smarter and wiser. But more than that, I want to stop exhausting myself by pouring my life into these pursuits.

 I want to stand here and feel peaceful with who and what I am right now. I’m begging the universe in its entirety to answer that prayer. I’m asking myself to be alright with where I am.

And I’m scared because I don’t know how.



One thought on “Midnight.

  1. I tried to leave a comment a couple days ago but I don’t think I was logged in… I just wanted to say, I can relate to this… SO much. I don’t know how to be alright with where I am either. And it scares me too. Thanks for sharing this b.


    Liked by 1 person

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