“One of the basic principles of every single art form has to do not with what’s there- the music, the words, the movement, the dialogue, the paint- but with what isn’t. In the visual arts it’s called “negative space”–the blank parts around and between objects, which is, of course, every bit as crucial as the objects themselves. The negative space allows us to see the nonnegative space in all its glory and gloom, its color and mystery and light. What isn’t there gives what’s there meaning. Imagine that.”
“But there was in me an awful thing, from almost the very beginning: a small, clear voice that would no, no matter what I did, stop saying go. Go, even though you don’t know exactly why you can’t stay. Go, because you want to. Because wanting to leave is enough.
Doing what one wants to do because one wants to do it is hard for a lot of people, but I think it’s particularly hard for women. We are, after all, the gender onto which a giant Here to Serve button has been eternally pinned. We’re expected to nurture and give by the very virtue of our femaleness, to consider other people’s feelings and needs before our own. I’m not opposed to those traits. The people I most admire are in fact nurturing and generous and considerate. Certainly, an ethical and evolved life entails a whole lot of doing things one doesn’t particularly want to do and not doing things one very much does, regardless of gender.
But an ethical and evolved life also entails telling the truth about oneself and living out that truth.
If there’s one thing I believe more than I believe anything else, it’s that you can’t fake the core. The truth that lives there will eventually win out. It’s a god we must obey, a force that brings us all inevitably to our knees. And because of it, I can only ask you the same question: Will you do it later or will you do it now?”